a twisted world!

God, when will people realize what a twisted world we live in. *Sigh. I've realized (again) over the past few weeks, keeping a secret is.. REALLY HARD. If you'd known me a few years back, you'd know I had a cheap mouth. I'd tell anything to anyone, even if it wasn't related to them. But seriously, I've been trying to stop that. I really do want people to trust me. I've been doing good so far, although I do feel like I'm about to burst. I just hate it when people go, "Tell meee. Come on. I won't tell anyone." And then they guilt trip you if you don't tell.. it's like wtf? I'm trying my best here to keep this person's trust and you're telling me to just break that because "you don't care." LOL, that's not my problemmmm. But I'm happy that more and more people are learning to trust me, even if I fucked them over before. Because I swear and promise, I'm a new person now! I'll just say, it's hard being on the other side of the fence, heehee.

And another thing! It's so weird how me and this person have "switched sides." She used to be everything I'm not, and now it's the other way around. And I'm really liking it, because it's helping me meet new people and become closer with older ones. Although I'm not sure if it's a good way of going about things. I have all these people telling me to stop, but.. I don't know how to explain it, but all I can say is I'M IN CONTROL. And I know that everyoneeeeeeee says that, but really they're not, they're hooked. And probably you won't believe me because idk why the hell not, but I really am. I know what I'm doing to myself, and I know the consequences. I know, you've been there and done that. But you guys and girls have NOT been in my shoes. I think it's wrong to lecture someone about this and that when you don't know shit about what that person's going through. Okay, so I put on a happy facade. Oh Happy Marian, what kind of problems can SHE have? Lalalala rainbows and fucking unicorns! Does that mean I'm okay, just because you presume me to be? NO! Just because I don't show my true emotions doesn't mean you can judge me the way you do. If you were me, you would know what I meant. But you don't, so kindly back off unless you're willing to empathize and actually talk to me. :)

People these days, they don't know how to do anything without anything.