& this is why...

believe is such bullshit
it just gets all your hopes up
and i am NOT trying to be emo
it's just a fact
and he's such a bitchhhhhh
acting like that, UGHHHHH
just choose once, stop being greedy
man i've learned to despise now
NEVER hoping again.
that way 기대도 안하고,
if something happens i can be surprised



oh by the way, today's november 30th T_T
ewww, it's already decemberr!
hope it gets cold soon! ahaha, yeeeap :]

the time has come

to start moving forward
and forget, even for a moment,
what people are thinking
because in this shallow world
once you start worrying about what other people think of you,
that's when everything goes down the drain
as you start seeing yourself negatively.

& if you can't tell them to fuck off,

& if you're not willing to change yourself,

stop thinking.

i didn't

go to school today
because i couldn't stand it anymore
seeing him laughing,
without me.
seeing him happy,
without me.
i swear i if i had to go today,
i would never be the same

and so it begins

the same old thing over and over
i really do wonder sometimes though
why doesn't he notice me?
i feel like he likes me sometimes
but other times i feel so disconnected
is he leading me on? does he like me?
i wish i could have answers
it's been so long, can't bear it anymore
it feels like yesterday didn't happen

it sucks not being appreciated for the things you do
i mean you help someone, and they don't even reply
does it take a minute to write "thanks"?
although it should be more then that if it's everyday
i hate bossy people, and people who expect you to give them things, and they don't even thank you. i mean, it's my hard work, wtf? and wooow, today was seriously like ugh. it may not have been a big thing, but to me it was. after i told him how i wanted everything, and i told you how i wanted it, you seriously have the nerve to go and change it? i mean, i picked it first okay. and you tell him to change, and on top of that i'm somewhere totally different. and you just want it for it's benefits. just so you can do well on tests, well maybe you should try something called studying. then maybe you could call your life halfway decent. would you even want to give your work to someone if instead of "can i copy your homework? please?" they say "hey gimme your homework." like what the fuckkkk, i seirously hate those kind of people. and after you're finished, you just toss it back like it's trash? have a little respect, you bitch



& why are my posts getting so long!
gosh, i am a drama Queen o_o

there's a girl,

who always has to be within the mold
because she can't think for herself
who always wants to fit in,
but can't because the others are already gossiping with their own cliques
she tries hard and is nice to everyone
but seems like everyone already has a friend or two
is it her, or is everyone else sticking to their molds?
there's a girl that is always too afraid to leave her comfort zone
and she wonders if she did, what could've happened?
she's always so worried about the future,
that she doesn't see the present.
she's so judgemental and discriminating,
that she slams the door in the face of oppurtunity before she's even seen it.
there's a girl, who just has so much shit inside of her
but on the outside, she's okay. hell, she's fine
but really, she's burning up in all of her problems,
and everyone standing around has a bucket of water
but they don't realize she's burning
instead they use the water on their friends, who don't need help
and she just screams out, but no one can hear
she wonders, why? why is this world so screwed up?
all she ever wanted to do was make some good friends,
and now even her bestfriends are leaving her out
one says she's your bestfriend, but isn't. she doesn't care about you at all actually
the second and third obviously hang out a lot
and don't even invite you, and only invite you when you call
all she ever wanted to do was fall in love with the perfect guy
but everytime a chance came, she couldn't see it
because she chose to look the other way
and she knows she'll regret it in the future,
but she does it anyway.
all she ever wanted was for her family to be happy
but that's impossible because this world is so fucking discriminating
and there are monsters, out to eat you at every chance
she's tired of the way people see her.
she's fucking sick and fed up with the way people treat her
why? why does everyone have this little mold
and only they fit into it, why?
and that one girl, who always wants to ruin everyone
she's so mean, and such a bitch, but she has so much friends
and i envy her sometimes
because she has everything, and i have nothing
so is this the world trying to teach me a lesson?
that i have to be like her to succeed?
because then i'd rather die.

so there's this girl
and all she wanted to do was live an average life
but all she got was a hellhole
she wasn't even mean, she was in fact very nice
but everyone else was so fucking asorbed in their own molds,
they didn't want to accept this girl
and now, she'll grow up to be a fucking superstar
and when she's signing autographs for them,
she'll go right up to them, and say "remember me?
the girl you always left out? well now, you're burning.
oh yeah, and i have a bucket of water right here
and i'm not even gonna help."
and they may think she's crazy, but she'll know.

there's a girl,
who would do anything if she could just get things her way.
anything, for real friends
anything, for her mom's happiness
anything, for that attractive attitude
and most of all, even if she doesn't think about it,
she'd do anything and more for that one guy to notice her.

forty

helllo you guys~
wow my fortieth post! teehee (:
well i got my paycheck, yay
& christmas is coming! omgg
i seriously can't wait hgah
oh bytheway, today's pepero day
hope everyone's NOT eating jjajjangmyun
or like i mean i hope you guys are taken
but even taken people are eating LOL
wellll yeah, i'm gonna eat it too!
because sadly i'm single. well yeah
that's it for now, and ttyl <3

thiry nine

i'm sorry... and i'm glad we made up (: haha i really didn't wanna keep not talking to you o_o and i know that sounds SO corny but no one reads this, and it's true. and i hope you can come today! it's gonna be bombbbb, everyone's coming ^^ well, update later~ going to meet up with 혜원, 소정, 미진, and 실이~! wtfff, everyone's name is korean except meee D: haha well i'll update later, okay? :D* oh! i forgot, LOL at our school a few guys were tetris pieces! LMAO. so yeah i'll post a picture and i don't know some of them but i'll put their names too~ and if it's preeeetty big so if you wanna see their facial expressions click on the picture (:

yellow I piece - jonathan (?)

orange L piece- samyi, LOL

blue T piece - edward

green z piece - paul (?)

missing box piece - alexkang, poor him T-T

okay so this is gonna be my update (: mm so i met up w. hyewon, emily, duke, and seulli and they helped hyewon on her prject while i stood and watched ^^ and then me, hyewon, and emily met up w/ mijin @ grove at 5:20ish? and we bought tickets for saw5! ^^ i HATE scary movies, so it was like super duper scary for me. but everyone else was kinda like not scared o_o haha, too bloody for me >_<