He is !

So.. I'm just gonna write about something pretty amazing that happened today.

I met up with the girls, and we were just walking around City Center, being bored and deciding what to do. Then a grandma comes up to us, and asks us about church things. I thought, "Okay. She's gonna pull out the 4 spritual laws any second now." But it turns out she just wanted to talk, and there were these adults there too, 22 & 33. And then after talking for like 30min, the moksanim jundosanim and one of these nice une's said they'll pray for me o_o So I was just like okay, whatever. And then they prayed for me, and they said that God told them "things" about me. And mind you, these are people I never met in my life. And they start telling me these things about me, that they could never know if they didn't know me. I don't wanna write it, because when I do, it sounds so generalized, and I know some people aren't gonna believe it. Okay no actually I'll just write it -_-; Okay wow. I forgot some of it. LOL. I'll just write the stuff I remember.

The un'e told me I liked music (I love it), and she asked me if I listened to CCM. And I was like no, I don't really listen to it much. And she told me to listen to when I'm having troubles, and to pray. And she also told me that while she was praying for me, she had a vision that I was surfing at the beach, but I kept falling.. and she said she got the feeling that whenever troubles befall me, I tend to turn away from God and fall on my own. She said I should learn to lean on God since he's always there for me, and not to turn away from him.

The moksanim told me that he felt loneliness coming from me.. like.. everywhere I am, I'm lonely. O_O

And finaalllllllly, the jundosaim told me that he felt thatI was 예민해. Like.. the gap between my 'happy' and 'sad' is really 심해 and like.. idk how to explain it, but I understand it. He also told me that I worry a HELLUVA lot about my future, which I do. He told me to pray to God every night for a vision, and that I will get 2 or 3 dreams that I'll never forget before June.

They also did the same thing for Izzy.
Hers was different of course, but I'll keep ym mouth shut.

So yeah overall... really, really, REALLY weird but amazzzzzzzing experience. I'm gonna go visit on Saturday, I definitely have to see wsup.

sick.

It's official. I'm sick. Errr... atleast half sick /: Runny nose, and if it gets too cold I start coughing and sneezing all over the place. This is when you need a guy to bring juk to your house or some shit. -_-; Anyways yeah. When I'm sick I:

1. Eat atleast 2-3x more than usual.
2. Sleep 2-3x more than usual.
3. Feel like showering every hour.
4. Everything pisses me off.
5. On the other hand, if I'm happy, I'm extremely happy.
6. TMI WARNING. I'm on my period. AND I'm sick. You should know that's not a good combination.
7. .... Idk.

But anyways, yeah. So like 3894729 people are pissing me off right now, because they think they're joking around but it's not funny. Haha. And my plans are ruined. What kind of person makes more than 1 plan in a day ? Okay, just forget we made plans and go play with your friends, it was your idea anyways. Lol.

do you feel like a man

When you push her around
Do you feel better now
As she falls to the ground
Well I'll tell you my friend
One day this world's gotta end
As your lies crumbles down
A new life she has found

Face down in the dirt
She said, "This doesn't hurt."
She said, "I've finally had enough."

i'm

down.

worse & worse

It's getting worse and worse, I wish it'd clear up already.
Anyways, I'm so nervous and scared, but I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. Sometimes I feel like all you'll feel is disappointment, but sometimes, I feel as if that's gonna be me. So I pretty much don't know what to do ! Obviously, it's inevitable, we can't continue on like this o_O; But I'd like to hold it off for as along as possible... just because I'm selfish and I need things to go my way, haha. Seriously, I wish I could put this off for another year or so, because I'm just not ready. But I know it's gonna happen very, very soon. GAHHH, stress agian. Over something so stupid... -_-; I wish I could like.. know what to say and do for it to be "perfect". I wish I had someone by my side when it happens ! After all, that's how normal people do it.. I think.

Anyways, idk. I can't get over my shallow-ness just yet, so wait ! :D

stupid me

LOL it's funny cus...
Well first of all. I'm sure I mentioned this, but I'm too lazy to check whether I did or not, so sorry if it's a double post.
Anyways.
I find it funny cus, in some blogs, I talked in like... my own secret code that I understood at that time. Like "clouds and flowers", yeah. LOL well the thing is.. I don't know what the HELL I was on when I was writing those posts HAHAHA. If only I knew !

books

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She lived as if there was always a book on her head; with poise, and elegance. Nothing really disturbed her much. There were minor struggles here and there- she was only human. In the end though, the book always found its' way back.

One day.. someone came into her life, someone who caused her heart to flutter, and someone who she couldn't help but to take second glances at. He was the total opposite of what her mind thought was perfect, but she couldn't stop these feelings.

When he smiled.. laughed.. her heart skipped more than just one beat, and she found herself unable to breathe properly. When he was down... she worried. When he was happy, she was happy. She found herself waiting for his greeeting, waiting for a glimpse of his face after class, waiting to hear a snippet of his voice from a conversation... waiting for that text that was so special to her...

She had several sleepless nights thinking about him. More and more, she found her book falling. Sometimes she would forget that it wasn't there. She began to slowly change- but it wasn't her choice, being with him made her that way. She was troubled and worried. Very worried.

Soon, her book was long gone, never to be found. She didn't even realize. Without his presence she felt empty.. and lonely. She missed him. She wanted to do things for him, that she'd never want to do for anyone else. She wanted to create special memories with him. She wanted him to feel this way about her.

Again, she was in her bed, thinking about him. Sleep wouldn't come. She pondered... what was it that caused her heart to flutter so, everytime something as small as an image of him entered her mind ? She wondered, what was it that caused red prickles of heat to rise from her face everytime he smiled at her, everytime he talked to her, everytime he complimented her ?

Then. Almost as if a tidal wave had entered her door and engulfed her whole room, it came to her. This... thing, that has transformed her into a clumsy, stuttering, babbling idiot... this thing, that created feelings deep inside of her, that she had never experienced... such a pure and innocent thing that she didn't even know existed... the reason for her drastic change... it was all, Love.

love ?

Oh shooot. Alex has enlightened me with his knowledgeeeee.
So I was botherrrring him about like, why is it that when guys start to show interest in me, my interest starts to like... go down the drain ~ And I was making it all complicated and shizz and like UGH WHY GOD AM I SO SHALLOW OF WHAT OTHER'S THINK, and then oooo he hit me with a tidal wave HAHAHA I feel so gay writing this but it's so true.

chinki goreela 9:09 pm
(9:09:27 PM): youre worried about what others would say

(9:09:31 PM): then

(9:09:33 PM): simply

(9:09:39 PM): youre not in love

theres nothing to hide
iLy Marian 9:09 pm
(9:09:58 PM): :O !!!!!!!!!!!
chinki goreela 9:10 pm
(9:10:06 PM): are you going to hide your sweet ugly husband in the basement?

Now, off to find my true love ! :D (JK.)

anger management

So I was innocently waiting for my bus today on Crenshaw/Wilshire, and yay ! The bus finally comes. But there was this.... crazy guy there, and he pretty much scared everyone o_O. He's just walking normally, and then all of a sudden he punches the umm.. you know the big black thing at the bus stops ? Like there's seats in it, and posters on the sides and all ? He punches it SO HARD it rattles, and he does it twice. And I'm just thinking, holy shit, that has GOT TO hurt... and then he takes the trashcan and throws it into the bushes... dang, I don't know what happened to make this man so pissed offf, but I was scared to death. I thought he was gonna like, start beating someone up or something. O_O Yeaah. That was the most interesting part of my day... -_-;

beautiful girls

All over the world
I could be chasin, but my time would be wasted
They got nothin on you, baby
Nothin on you baby ~
They might say hi, and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cus they got nothin on you baby...
Nothin on you ~

So addicted to this song. >:O Teehee.
Welll yeaaaaah.
It's allll going down the drainn, and I deserve it !
Since it was my actions that lead to these consequences :O
Accepted.


*BTW. Blogger is like... the first place I come (now) when I'm thinking about something or I have troubles I wanna rant about, or just something special that happened throughout the day, or even something little that really affected me. This makes me happy, I've had this for 2 years, going on 3 now. WHOOOOOO ! :D

OH GOD

HAHAHAHA, so I was talking to Izzy about how I was kinda 삐젔어 cus one of our friends couldn't come out, and then like I guess she felt bad ?!!??!?!?


izzyl1c1ous 12:38 am
(12:38:13 AM): *(shyly goes inside a blanket)


Oh God. Seriously. How can you be even 섭섭해 when someone says this to you.
This is just too cute. OMFG. I'm like... squealing LOL. It was too cute. Too cute.
TOO CUTE. GOSH. YOU CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER !

harry potter pick-up lines

ROFL oh my, I had to share these, HAVE FUN ! :D

Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements.

If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.

My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!

I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.

Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.

Your name must be Severus Severus, because you're making my prince full blood.

Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together.

You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone.

You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.

I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?

I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on!

Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you've made me stiff.

Whaddya say you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


...And all good times need to come to an end.
Here's a quote that seems like it was made just for me..

The line between friendship and something more should never be blurry. Once you start crossing back & forth... you're screwed.

bad luck ?

My mom was walking home yesterday, when the neighbor's dog came out and started following her. Being the animal lover she was, she tried to get it back into it's house since it kept playing in the streets. Dangeorus. After about 5 minutes of trying unsuccessfully to put the dog back into its's home, a van decided to speed by, breaking the dog's leg. It went home wimpering.

alex jung

Feel special... I never named a post after someone ! Although you're not reading this, so I feel more creepy.. but anyways. I saw this in your buddy info, it was too cute not to share :)

I know you’re not perfection. To me, you’re so much more. I know we may not have forever, So I treasure every moment with you, In case another one isn’t in store. Yes, I’d like the sunshine. But I’ll stand with you through the rain. Your happiness is my happiness. So I’ll do whatever I can to ease your pain. When I first saw you smile, I fell in love at once. And even deeper I fell, the first time I saw you cry. It was at that moment I realized, I wanted to protect you and always be the one to wipe the tears from your eyes. I know that life is difficult, and has given you more than your fair share of pain and lies, but that’s why I’ll be your strength when yours falls broken. And give you my wings to fly.

she smashed

Her rearview mirror,
cus starting today, she wasn't looking back.

Oh how I want to folllow this quote ! But sometimes, it's just so hard to let go of the past. You still wanna live in all of the good times, and the good people. But I guess the harsh reality that no one wants to see is that, time always moves. It doesn't stop for anyone. If something's over, it's over, you can never have the same thing again. So why do we, so stupidly, try to hold onto our past ? Shouldn't we work hard towards the future, and make the best of what we have ? I don't know, I'm one of those "oh I'll just live in the past" type of people. It's just so much easier than facing the future obstacles. The past was so good, almost like a dream. That one quote is so true,

"When we're young all we wanna do it grow up.
Now that we're old, all we wanna do is grow young."

GODDDD. I know I'm not old, far from it, but I already wanna go back to the care-free days. Where we literally played with the neighborhood kids. It was so safe; emotionally, financially, physically, and more. There were no cares. I mean sure, we had to do our nightly fraction homework, but compared to these days, that was nothing. Then we'd go out and play soccer or rollerblade or just talk with our friends. And honestly, back then, no one cared how you looked. No one cared if you were rich, or poor, or looked at the way you dressed. Everyone was just... friends. But now it's so complicated... friends with benefits, single but unavailable, go out break up go out break up go out break up, rebound, replacement, oh god. OH GOD. I seriously wish I could go back to relive it. My biggest worry was getting a glass piece into my foot. -_-x Riding bikes, rollerblading, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Pokemon, scooters, chips, sleepovers, neopets, cartoonetwork, oh my gosh ! Those were the good days ! These days, things are overly complicated. You need to watch what you say, think before you speak, study your surroundings and blend in. Well, I guess that's my rant for today, since I feel the same way. Sometimes I wish I could just be like those people that REALLY don't care about what others think about them. I'm constantly "checking myself out" to see if I'm "acceptable". I'm constantly, constantly, constantly comparing myself to others. Sheesh. I should just be thankful for what I have.

Well, I could probably talk about this subject for hours & hours. But I'll just stop here, becuase I'm getting tired of typing. Well I hope everyone else is doing well o_O; BYE !

!!! ??? !?!?!?!

Daaaaaang.
As if I need to cause any more trouble.
Oh God, help me. -_-
I don't wanna hurt anyone.
I pinky swear :O

vanilla twilight !

Oh my gosh. This song is so good. And Fireflies. I'm so adddicted ! Hahaha. Anyways, I haven't updated for a while huh ? I was actually too busyyy, HAHAHA ! It's been a while since I haven't had the time to check MLIA and my blogspot :O Forgive me, but no one reads this, and I'm happy that I'm busy ! These days have beeen... yeaaa good days 8) And I'm satisfied that everything's just running smooooothly ~ And so many interesting people in my life nowadays ! That makes me happy too :) Hehehe, small things make me happy :P Anyways... there really isn't much to update about.. except that my life is goood. Which I'm pretty sure you don't care about- readers always want juicy gossip or some depressed ass story. Hahaha ! Not that I have any readers -o- Anyways, I'll be going noww, byeee ! :D Oh and on a side note... TEEHEEHEE. :P

unusual!

Hmm, I'm in an unusually good mood today.
I just wanna chill with everyone, and get to know everyone.
Does that make sense?
I feel today is the day to meet everyone that I haven't seen! :D
Don't ask why... because I'm not quite sure myself o_O;

Moving on~! I hope all my problems get solved~!
Miraculously~! Haha, I wishhh. -_-;
But I don't wanna ruin this good mood so I'll stop here.
BYE < 3

RESOLUTION

I SWEAR
I'M NOT GONNA SAY
"ANYWAYS"
"LIKE"
"SERIOUSLY"
"IDK"

Okay, idk about the last one. It's a must, haha.
But SERIOUSLY, like, I'm gonna try and stop using these words. Seriously.
Anyways, that's it, I just wanted to make it official. :D

vanilla twilight

Addicted. Anyways,

Today was a disaster.
I slept at 2AM, and if I did that, I should have had the responsibility to wake up at 6. But nope, I woke up, went back to sleep for "5 minutes", and woke up at 12:30. Sigh, why do I do this? School isn't even so bad, it's actually pretty fun. But I don't know, it's like I can never accept the consequences for my actions, and of course, later I regret it. Gosh, I'm never ditching. (Seriously.)

And also, it seems I'm always having problems with relationships/boys! It's like, as soon as I find a guy that I show a little bit of interest in, another one pops up and confuses me. And then everything just ends badly. And then, repeat. And also... seriously I know I've said this millions of times but I feel like I have to say it again. WHY AM I SO SHALLOW? Like seriously, 60% of all guys are meet are so awesome and fun and whatever, but it's just like I can't accept the face. Like honestly, I'm not even that cute/pretty, but I have such high standards. I really wish I could be like those people that don't look at peoples' faces. Then I would be so much better off in life. WHY CAN'T I LOOK PAST THE EXTERIORRRR. Gosh, there was so many chances to be with someone that I liked, but that problem just kept popping up. And it's like, why do I care what others will think? It's my own relationships and problems and ideas, but what people think affect me so much. "If I went out with him, what would people say?" And you know.. stupid shit like that. Idk, it's like I refuse to give people chances... and IDK. I'm just utterfly confused right now >:O And I'm always thinking, bleck they're too good for me anyways. Or, augh, he'd probably be turned off after seeing me (LOL). I really need to... change on that aspect. Or atleast try -_-x Sighhhh. SIGHHHH. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. FML. And also, another problem is, okay let's say I have interest in someone. Then when they start showing interest in me... it's like, I start not liking them?? I don't know if that'll make sense to you, but seriously, big problem. -_-; I don't know if it's because I haven't found the one, that I can actually commit to, but anyways, that's been happening to me A LOT lately. I guess I'm all for the chase, boo for the winning. Which I wish I could also change, cus that hurts a lot of people, and it's really messed up too. Gosh I'm such a messed up person. Okay I'm gonna stop writing before this turns into a book.

Nvm, I wanna keep writing. I say "seriously" a lot huh? Well, I'm being serious, that's why (: LOL. Ehh, I guess I'll start another rant. I don't like it when people talk about you, in front of your face. Like.. it's like... it's obvious they're talking about you, but they're in denial that you'll know, and you just feel like shit. And ALSO OMG. I hate people who only talk to you when they need something. Seriously? Is it that hard to put a "Hi, how are you doing?" or something? That's just so rude. And yet, you say you hate it when people do that, HAHAHAHA. Funny. ANYWAYS OMFG.

There's temptation everywhere, SERIOUSLY. I try to be a good Christian, especially since I know He's watching us and knows what we're thinking every second. But it's so hard.. like I know people just say, "Don't do it. It's as easy as that." But it's really not... literally temptation knocking on your door -_-; And it's funny cus, I know I'm gonna do something stupid really soon, haha. You know that feeling, where you know it's wrong, but you do it anyways. Like procrastination, cmon. You can't think that's gonna get you anywhere. But you do it anyways, just for a little fun, and you're in hell later. Same shit, except it's not procrastination for me. There's just some serious doubt in me. I wanna be back at Vision10. It was so easy to be "good" there. Christian life is hard, really. /: But I guess I'll try.. but it's also so hard to stay "good" because, you know how they say God forgives all sins. And there's those people that lived like SHIT until like 24 or whatever, and then they miraculously found God. It's like, I kind of feel like it's unfair cus I haven't even begun having fun, and already I know God. So it's like, I can't even have any fun. And I know I shouldn't be looking at this as a burden, but it really seems like one...

Gosh I just need like time to myself. I wish I could live in the mountains for a week, ROFL.
And one other thing... I wonder if you miss me when I'm gone? :O I wonder if you wait for me subconsciously, just like I wait for you, even though I don't even know if I like you :O Does your heart skip a tiny tiny beat when you see my name also :D? Do you take my words seriously, like I takes yours?! Do you get all giddy and excited like me when you say something nice to me, even if you're just being nice to me D:? Anyways, yeah just some stupid thoughts running through my head. Many many problems, hopefully they'll be resolved, and hopefully I'LL CHANGE! I'm gonna stop saying 'like' and 'seriously'. Like, Fail, seriously.

squeeze pops

It's been such a long time since I had Squeeze Pops.
SO GOOD.

Anywaysssss.
I hate that I'm so shallow. There's so many great people out there, but like, I keep judging based on face. And then when I find someone like "up to my standards", I start thinking they're too good for me. Like, wtf does myself want me to do?! Sometimes I confuse myself too much. I know I'm letting so many oppurtunities go, just because I can't look past the exterior. I hate it when I click with someone like CRAJEE, but then like... yeah. /:

GOSH. /:

yogo zone

I'm addicted.
1 Peach Cone, please :D

Anyways, regular day with the girls! Filled with fun (;
That's it for today~




--Ask away!
http://formspring.me/ilymarian

loooong night...

Wow, haha.
Just... wow.
It's seriously.. so AMAZING how people can overreact over the TINIEST things.
But you know what, I'm glad this happened.
And also, I'm really proud of you, you know who you are. :)
I know that must've taken practically all your willpower not to do anything, and to just stand there and say sorry. But seriously, wow. You amaze me in so many ways, and in good ways too! Although you may be pissed and hurt right now, I Love You and I'm so proud of you baby. Always & forever! :D

butterscotch flavoured

I wonder why sometimes, words have an extra 'u'. For example, "flavoured". Or "colour". Does that just show that we're too lazy to add another letter?! Idk. Anyways, I'm addicted to this stuff :) God, the things you can find at Ross. ;)

Hmmm. I'm addicted to the song 안녕 마음아 - 지선. It's so good, and addicting, and good. I recommend you listen if you're reading this (;

Also, I saw this on FB earlier today, thanks to Shanna (;
"Stop telling God how big your problems are, and start telling your problems how big God is." Or something along those lines. And I realized, this is... so true o_O; I'm always praying about oh I have so many problems God please magically make them disappear. But this is the totally wrong way to do it! Maybe I should be working on those problems, WITH GOD BY MY SIDE. :) Teehee, it's these random coincidences that keep me going in life.

Lastly, I'm happy to see Formspring is GROWING.
MAKE ONE IF YOU HAVEN'T :D

formspring

Hehehehehe, thought I'd get with the program. (;
Ask me anythinggg!
http://www.formspring.me/ilymarian
I'll get to your question ASAP! :D

SPECIAL DAY!

DANG LOL ITS 12:38 슬이 생일 지났네!!!!!!! 진짜 미안해 ㅜㅜ 널 위애서 쓸려고 하니까 이렇게 됐내... 미안... 사랑해요~~<3

Anyways, teehee. As you can see, I was a bad friend and I forgot to update about Suri's birthday <_<; I guess we always have next year.. T-T 하여튼 오늘 못 와서 미안하고... 금요일 기대해!! Hehe. So excited for Friday, another IHEMMS MEETING! I'M SO EXCITED TEEHEE :3

Anyways some guy is prank calling me, so ttfn. :)

2010

YAY. I guess i'm a little late o_o Anyways.
SO many things have happened in the past few days, but idk how to explain it. To sum it all up: JESUS. IS. THE ANSWER. And seriously, I've discovered the power of prayer. I had a problem, and I really didn't know what to do or who to believe. Then I just... prayed to God that I would leave everything up to him, and that I believed in his power, and that I would follow him no matter what. And I kid you not, in the next hour or so, my mind was made up. I had this 100% I'm gonna do it feeling, and I have no idea where it came from. Amazing :)