bad girl

HMMMMM. I need someone to teach me not to care about others' opinions. Of course there are times when you should care, you can't be so impassive. But sometimes you just need that 'fuck it' attitude, and go with your heart. But I can't seem to do that, I can't seem to let go of myself. I'm always worrying about what others might think of me; what will change if I do this, what will change if I do that. How will my bestfriends see me, will they see me differently? As a bad girl? An easy girl? What kind of new shit would people bring up about me behind my back? These are always the questions that hold me back from doing what I really want, from getting what I really want. Of course half of it is I'm not ready. It's like I know what to do and how they feel, but I can't put that into action. I'm bored easily. I get tired of things easily. And it's definitely not a good thing. I don't know if these traits will stay with me until I grow up, but I hope not. I hope I can learn to see the good in people, and to stop caring about what others think! It's my business after all. Oh God, please replace my immature, spur-of-the-moment, confused self with a more refined, mature, thinking kind of person.