LOL

I lasted 2 days.
A weird thing, love is.

turtle balloon

Holy cow, teehee. It was nice. :]
Would I do it again? Most definitely.
I don't know what I'm gonna do when things get complicated... /:
Hopefully, everything works out in the end :)

clouds and flowers

YOU know what I'm talking about. :)

Yesterday was... sensational! I don't know how to describe it, it was so amazinggg. AMAZING, I tell you! :] 3am... *heart* I haven't had this fluttery feeling for a realllly long time. :D


On a side note, being grounded really sucks!! I can't even go out, and I'm in desperate need of of social contact. Mother disconnected my phone, so... I'm literally 쳐박혀있어 in my own home. :( Someone save me, this is so boring!!




I wonder how I'll end up..

discovery

Is this what it feels like? If so, I'm loving it. :)
This is good. I was getting tired of the same ol' routine, and I'm liking this surprise. This feels so different from the usual. Already 2 awkward moments, and I'm sure more to come. I know you're the kind of person who will be able to protect me emotionally. I'm pretty sure you'll be the one to put up with most of my bullshit, because you know how I think, and how I feel. At first, I judged you based solely on appearance, but I can see that I was wrong. I knew you were nice, but I didn't know to what extent. When I told my friends about you, they said you were ... okay. Aka, they didn't want to hurt my feelings with their honesty. That made me even more worried, as to how I would introduce you to them, knowing what they were already thinking. But now I know, you don't have to be perfect. I definitely know I'm not. And you're obviously much more mature than me, since you already knew this. You accepted me for who I am, and I feel like I don't have to worry about showing my "real self" to you. This feels so out of the world. This feels so exotic, different, dangerous. This feels... right. :)

Of course.. where there's good there's bad. I feel like multiple waves are hitting me at the same time. Not in a bad way, but I just don't know what to do! I wish I just had a set of written instructions to find peace and happiness. One really makes me feel giddy every time I see him. I want him to talk to me, or do something stupid so I have an excuse to talk to him. Two makes me feel pretty nice. He's the kind of guy I'd like to date, just to see what it's like. No.. he makes me feel REALLY GOOD. Problem: I never see him...and he's *gasp* taken. Yuuup. And lastly, this guy is like my bestfriend. He's not, but that's the kind of vibe I get from him. He's really nice, and I know he would be able to take care of me. He's a little bit out there, but who cares?

It's so hard to choose. I don't know why they all came into my life at the same time. But only one's meant to be, right? I really hate choosing.. where are the answers now!! Life was so easy just a few weeks ago. And all in a few days, it got so complicated. I don't want to break my connection with any one of them, but I don't want to stay where I am now. I know that eventually, I'm gonna end up hurting someone. I just want to treasure this moment while it lasts, because I know from here, everything's gonna go downhill.. Someone help?


I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared, but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go, and just enjoy the show.

<33

hehe... :D

edit--

wth...i'm reallly sorry i don't know that EXACT word...but you don't have to get pissed at me and start yelling at me.. it's not like i'm lying to you or anything-_-;; fudge. let's see what happens if i do that to you next time -__-;;;

Dear

You,

You know I love you. I didn't like you at first, but after getting to know your ass, I really got to like you. You're officially a part of our special group now. But you have to see that your ass is being stupid as fuck. We've been there for you, and we were so nice and caring to you. We gave you advice, which you did not take. But still, we let you go your own way. We thought you'd wake up from your SICK fantasy. After experiencing it twice, can't you see you're being FUCKING STUPID? What kind of guy, that reallllly "loves" you, pulls that kind of shit on you? Are you serious? We told you TWICE, to leave him before it was too late. But did you listen to us? Nope. And look where you are now... stuck in a shithole. We were so happy, when you told us that you were single. We really were. I really felt like giving you some kind of big present, to congratulate you. But I guess you still didn't wake up. Where do you even get the fucking nerve to ask me if you should date him again? Seriously, I thought you were smarter than that. This is why you get to know someone for more than 2 days, before going out with them. I don't know if it was because you were lonely and desperate, so you thought you loved him. But I think you just fell hard, and now you can't get back up. Dating, imo, is supposed to be something slow and sweet. You should atleast get to know what kind of person they are. Go on a few dates, yknow? 2 days just doesn't cut it. I don't care if you know his birthday, how many siblings he has, and his number. That doesn't say anything about him. A few phone calls here and there? Filled with silence? No. Even though I do love you, I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING YOU. And I promise, if you do get back together with him this time around... no one's gonna be there to pick you up. I can GUARANTEE that.

5

5...sjdsb

hmm?

What is thisss weirdd relationship?

failed.

ONLINE SHOPPING IS SO FRUSTRATING!! After 15 minutes of Google-ing a few terms, and getting my mom to help, I finally filled the "forms" out correctly, and I clicked the 'verify' button, and..... my card fails verification!! I don't even know whyy T_T I finally decided after 3 weeks to buy this stupid shit for $41 and it doesn't work... I guess it's a sign D:

Anyways~~ Hehehehe~~ :D


Do you know what jealousy feels like?
It's enough to make a person go mad...

.

I guess we're just friends after all. :)

The Cabinet of Curiosities

by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child


SORRY, I had to recommend this book! I have to say, I LOVE mystery books. Anything with killers, and murder solving. :D Hehe, I also like adventure. But anyways, this book is so fun!! I've been reading it since 3rd period, and thank God I finished it. *heart* Anyways, yeap. Highly recommended!! Not a deep book, but fun (:

Aside from that, I think I'm finally sick. I was wondering when the flu would catch me. Couldn't go to Bresee today. /: Also, tomorrow's PSAT's!! Yayy!! Which means, I was gonna go to school but temptation as gotten me again. Grand plans for a bomb day tomorrow with bestfriend. :D If... my cold doesn't go away, it will be a horrible and painful day for me. /: HOPEFULLY....!!!

The Show - Lenka *heart*

please don't go

and I said,
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a Love Story, baby just say, Yes.

Taylor Swift's songs are so... "real life situation" songs. Haha, I love her songs. :p Anywayssss. Farmville is so fun, I love when the cows moo and the chickens cluck. :3 And I love harvesting, CA$HH~ FARMVILLLLLE *heart*

Anyways, gonna go out soon to my my baby deul :D Nothing special happened today, but just the fact that it's a Friday IS special :) Hehe, well~~ Update later~~

---

Update. Hm, it was so weird today.
Me Against The World. :)

blocked

released
Nothing special happened today, so I'll update with something I read in English. :)
from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum

All I Really Need to Know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

> Share everything.
> Play fair.
> Don't hit people.
> Put things back where you found them.
> Clean up your own mess.
> Don't take things that aren't yours.
> Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
> Wash your hands before you eat.
> Flush.
> Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
> Live a balanced life-learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
> Take a nap every afternoon.
> When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
> Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
> Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we.
> And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned-the biggest word of all-LOOK.

...Think what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put things back where you found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it's still true, no matter how old you are-when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

PMO

WOW FML I JUST TYPED A PRETTY HUGE POST AND IT DID SOMETHING WEIRD TO IT, AND ONLY 1 SENTENCE FROM THE BEGINNING WAS LEFT. FML.

I wished for you (5billionfuckingtimes) on 11:11.

pms

i know that sometimes pms can be a bitch. i KNOW that sometimes, it makes you overly sensitive to stupid things. but FUCK, you have to know where to draw the FUCKEN line. honestly... a mom is there to take care of their kid. i'm sorry if you see me as an adult, but im ONLY 15. asking for such shit back, is like telling your kid to pay rent. and then when they can't, it's like kicking them out. wtf? no job... no income... how the fuck are they supposed to pay you? and also... calling grandma for every little problem is not cool. and ALSO, if i acknowledge the shit that i did wrong and apologize, shouldn't you do the same? why do you get shit mad when i bring up the stuff you did wrong? and also, no offense to the NICE korean parents, but i don't understand why they overexaggerate things. for the past few months, i've been doing chores around the house and shit, even when you don't ask. so why bring up the past... like 1 year ago? what does that have to do with the now me? and seriously... i want you to stop looking at me as an adult. i'm seriously only 15, a junior in HIGH SCHOOL. i honestly could care less that when you were my age, you did the laundry every 5 seconds, listened to every single word your mom said, cooked for the whole family, cleaned the whole house, got A+ grades, AND took care of your manners around strangers. I'M SORRY that this is the present, and i'm not able to do those things. I'M SORRY you were so nice to me, and the next second you try and force me to be the past you. i'm so FUCKING PISSED. like.. honestly, i do love you, i'll never say i hate you. but sometimes... you just GO INTO YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD. like i hate how after an argument, you go to another room and keep talking. wtf is that? and also, i REALLY hate how you expect me to know every little meaning behind your words, I'M SORRY I DON'T. and also... whenever you call me, i'm there, whether it's homework help, computer help, or even YOUR family's problems. seriously, i've never missed out on those joyous occasions. but then...you make it sound like this bad daughter never ever listens to you. hello? since when did not making one cup of coffee CUS IM FUCKEN TIRED AND JUST GOT HOME, translate to "i hate you you never do anything for me i'm so spoiled i never listen to you."? i know you think i'm kidding, but i can't wait till i'm 18. i'd rather go out and get a tiring asa job and balance that with school, AND MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. i'm soooo sorry for giving you so much trouble, but don't worry, i'll be gone soon. and DON'T even try to make it seem like nothing happened.

p.s. i hate when you say "if there's such a nice mom like me, tell them to come out."
p.p.s. i really hate when you say "fine, get F's, i don't care, do w/e you want. be a mcdonalds worker when you grow up." that's funny cus if i actually did do what i want, that would result in you getting pissed the fuck off. and then i would throw your words back at you, and you would act like i wasn't supposed to take them literally.

i hope this doesn't blow over.