worse & worse

It's getting worse and worse, I wish it'd clear up already.
Anyways, I'm so nervous and scared, but I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. Sometimes I feel like all you'll feel is disappointment, but sometimes, I feel as if that's gonna be me. So I pretty much don't know what to do ! Obviously, it's inevitable, we can't continue on like this o_O; But I'd like to hold it off for as along as possible... just because I'm selfish and I need things to go my way, haha. Seriously, I wish I could put this off for another year or so, because I'm just not ready. But I know it's gonna happen very, very soon. GAHHH, stress agian. Over something so stupid... -_-; I wish I could like.. know what to say and do for it to be "perfect". I wish I had someone by my side when it happens ! After all, that's how normal people do it.. I think.

Anyways, idk. I can't get over my shallow-ness just yet, so wait ! :D