discovery

Is this what it feels like? If so, I'm loving it. :)
This is good. I was getting tired of the same ol' routine, and I'm liking this surprise. This feels so different from the usual. Already 2 awkward moments, and I'm sure more to come. I know you're the kind of person who will be able to protect me emotionally. I'm pretty sure you'll be the one to put up with most of my bullshit, because you know how I think, and how I feel. At first, I judged you based solely on appearance, but I can see that I was wrong. I knew you were nice, but I didn't know to what extent. When I told my friends about you, they said you were ... okay. Aka, they didn't want to hurt my feelings with their honesty. That made me even more worried, as to how I would introduce you to them, knowing what they were already thinking. But now I know, you don't have to be perfect. I definitely know I'm not. And you're obviously much more mature than me, since you already knew this. You accepted me for who I am, and I feel like I don't have to worry about showing my "real self" to you. This feels so out of the world. This feels so exotic, different, dangerous. This feels... right. :)

Of course.. where there's good there's bad. I feel like multiple waves are hitting me at the same time. Not in a bad way, but I just don't know what to do! I wish I just had a set of written instructions to find peace and happiness. One really makes me feel giddy every time I see him. I want him to talk to me, or do something stupid so I have an excuse to talk to him. Two makes me feel pretty nice. He's the kind of guy I'd like to date, just to see what it's like. No.. he makes me feel REALLY GOOD. Problem: I never see him...and he's *gasp* taken. Yuuup. And lastly, this guy is like my bestfriend. He's not, but that's the kind of vibe I get from him. He's really nice, and I know he would be able to take care of me. He's a little bit out there, but who cares?

It's so hard to choose. I don't know why they all came into my life at the same time. But only one's meant to be, right? I really hate choosing.. where are the answers now!! Life was so easy just a few weeks ago. And all in a few days, it got so complicated. I don't want to break my connection with any one of them, but I don't want to stay where I am now. I know that eventually, I'm gonna end up hurting someone. I just want to treasure this moment while it lasts, because I know from here, everything's gonna go downhill.. Someone help?


I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared, but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go, and just enjoy the show.