ueless post

hahaha yeap, this is gonna be one useless post :o so i woke up at... 4:30AM today for morning servicee. i REALLY don't want to go, but they keep pressuring me to come. these days.. church isn't even fun anymore. usually people go to church, listen to the sermon, MAYBE a bibly study, then either free-time / go home. but at our church, we get there by 10:40, and stay there till 3 or 4. sometimes 5 or 6. i don't know.. i used to love my church, and i still do. but now that i think about it, it's really very demanding, and what i thought used to be fun, is now just... bleh. after sermon, we had a 30min meeting about what we learned from the sermon. then lunchtime, then another 예배, then group meeting. and on top of that, they want us to come 30 minutes earlier so we can pray before our 예배 starts. and continuing, after the meeting (which is after the 2nd 예배) we have a big group meeting to talk about today's lesson... again. gosh, i mean, i know i sound like the big complainer right now, but it's so stressing! i don't even look forward to sundays anymore, seeing as i have to ride the bus, so i have to get up 2 hours early. although that's not really their fault. but yeah, basically my church schedule's packed, and there's no was so escape. eeeep! is this spiritual dehydration? i don't know. and today, we went to visit my grandma at his grave. i thought it was weird how it suddenly started raining today... ): hope you're happy up there, love you grandpa. <3 he was so mean on the outside, but i swear he was loving and sensitive as hell on the inside. i miss him so much! GOD TODAY IS NOT A GOOD DAY. :T and once again, i'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all. ):