what does it feel like?
its not fair
these days it seems everyone knows how to be happy
everyones getting to that turning point in their lives
everyone seems to be so bubbly everyday,
everyone seems to know a secret
that only i dont know about.
what does it feel like?
i guess this is just where i can write my shit
and people wont care, cus no one reads it
stuff that would be awkward to talk about w/ anyone
cus no one else understands.
but i really cherish my blogger!
before, i just made it to write stupid crap, and you can see that if you read my past blogs. but now its like my vent. if i want to voice myself out, or talk about something thats been bugging me, this is the first place i come. [on a side note, ive been reading my past blogs and WOW. i sound really gay. but happy, i liked that time. when i was happy everyday, when i had no worries. i was just.... happy. :)]
its not that im NOT happy, its just that there are so many things to think about. and i have so much free time, sometimes those thoughts turn into what if?'s. idkk how to explain this feeling. as my mom would say, "youre just going through a phase." but i kind of want this phase to last, because its helped me to realize that i am not a good person, not at all. but its also helped me to realize something i havent known before, and something i dont know how to express in words. but i guess you can say, i see the world in a different light? and ive also just learned to accept things. i accept the fact that i cant be someone im not. ive also accpeted that i am lazy, and i shouldnt complain about getting bad grades unless i get my ass up to gear. i also see that i make assumptions way too quickly, andl ike.. 90% of it is wrong. well yeah. basically not fml, but not really cheering for myself either. and one more thing, i think i have to start realizing who my real friends are, and who i should really be thanking.
sigh. people are gonna start thinking im emo
but im not. (=
wow this post turned out way longer than expected. i guess im finished now, bye :)
UGH IM SO MAD! i just added more to my post on a new tab and i posted it. then i came back to this tab and it was in the edit section so i clicked "publish post" and now its back to my old one. JFLKDSSJFKLSAJDFJAS I HATE MY STUPID SELF.
1 comment:
Hey there, love
Any time, i'm always going to be there for you. So, one day when you feel like telling me whatever, i'm all ears. Even if it is little things, i'll listen. Of course i care:) I love you, lil one.
i know what you mean..things used to be so simple and easy
but want to know something, you probably know but things will get harder, so cherish what you got now. Yewahh, it's good to write what you feel than bottling it up. Cause if you bottle it up, you going to be all bitter and that's not goood. anywayss, just enjoy now, that moment. Don't think about the ifs, cause there will always be excuses. I guess that means you are growing and maturing. You are a good person, we all have our flaws, but that shouldnt mean we are bad, right? We should learn from them. You are figuring yourself out phase, i guess. dunnoxD
hahahh, i talked a lot too. I feel like a preacher. Ahem, and god said let there be light and there was light..praise the lord, hallelujah, ahem brother
ANYWAYS, goodluck with going through this phase or whatever it is. Love youuu:))
There;s so much more ahead of us left
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